Like most people I want to become rich and powerful. I thought of inventing something (what about curing cancer?) but inventing stuff requires a lot of time and money. The legal protection isn't very good either.
That's why I wrote The Poem. You can buy a copy of it for 1000$. Even if you don't buy it, it still grants me all the power of a true copyright holder.
The Problem with Patents and Inventions
Time
Modern inventions are usually very advanced and technical in nature. Gone are the days when you could patent a sharpened stick, calling it a "spear" or "toothpick". Nowadays, you need many years of education before you can invent something new. Even if you have a higher education, it typically takes years to go from idea to prototype to finished product. All in all, inventing stuff takes years and years of hard work.
If you want to be rich in 20 years, fine, go ahead and invent something. Personally, I don't want to wait until I'm almost dead before I can enjoy my riches. Speaking of which…
Money
Getting an education costs money. Developing a working prototype requires money. Making the finished go into industrial production costs onehellofalot of money (not including marketing costs). You need sponsors every single step of the way. Your parents/government may pay for your education; you ''could'' make a prototype in your basement (given time and high nerd factor); you can not afford industrial production of your invention.
Sooner or later, you have to get investors who will sponsor your project and take some or all of the profits from your great invention. Working for the research department of a large company may allow you to invent lots of stuff but you will not get rich. Your company will.
Power
The legal protection for inventions isn't very good. There are plenty of caveats and pitfalls that can stop you on your way to wealth and power.
Prior art
If anyone has thought of the same idea before you, you can not patent it.
Minimum improvement
If your invention is an improvement of an existing invention, it may not be patentable. The patent office may say it is not "enough" of an improvement. So much for patenting the BLISS…
Costs
It costs to file for a patent, it costs to maintain a patent. You can't even be sure you can keep your patent since someone may find "prior art" and challenge you in court which… costs money.
Time Limit
All patents have a time limit. In many countries, patents are only valid for 25 years. You would have to invent something every 25 years too keep the money flowing! And what about your grandchildren? They'll be starving, garbage eating homeless people! As an inventor, you have to keep working your entire life… who wants to do that?
Control
You may think a patent gives you full control of the use of your invention but nooo… In many countries, it is perfectly legal to make a copy of your invention for private non-commercial use. It's not illegal unless they try to sell it (but if they do, you can sue their asses off).
Power
Owning a patent will not grant you any special legal powers. You can not snoop on your neighbours or ransom people who ''may'' have violated your patent. Politicians will not make a special tax just for you, they won't even make new laws when you ask them to! As a patent owner, you're not more powerful than the average Joe.
As you can see, inventing stuff is for sissies. It won't get you the power and money you deserve.
(By the way, if you develop a cure for cancer. Remember where you got the idea (yes, here, from me). I want 10% of your profits)
The Solution and the Glory of Copyright!
The solution is simple, don't invent: Create. Create something you can Copyright.
Always Copyright
You don't have to file for a copyright. Everything you do is Copyrighted by default! It doesn't cost anything or require any forms to be filled. It just is.
If perform a song on a new and really cool instrument, anyone can legally copy instrument (if you don't have the time and money to patent it). But, if they copy your song, you can sue them for copyright infringement, lost profits, damaged street credibility, you name it! There possibilities are endless! It doesn't even matter if they copy it for non-commercial reasons. You can still sue them! Try suing someone for making a copy of your patented instrument… They'll just laugh all the way to court.
Quality
There's no minimum improvement, no quality control, nothing! Whatever you do, you own the copyright no matter how bad/common/useless your creation is! Inventing a navel-gazer won't give you a patent, there's too much prior art but write a song about navel-gazing and you immediately have copyright!
Novelty
It's not about novel ideas. It's about the presentation. I can write yet another song about "love" and still get a copyright! "Prior art", hah! Take that Bell, Wright and all you lame inventors!
Almost Eternal
Copyrights are granted for your entire life plus 50+ years! They will protect both you and your grandchildren from poverty! Neither you, nor nor children or their grandchildren will ever have to work again! Just remember to tell your children to have kids at an early age…
Power!
Being a copyrigth holder, you can snoop on your neighbours, just claim they infringe on your copyright and get a court order for all their email, hard drives, photos etc. Your copyrighted text may have been copied in an email. Your painting may have been photographed and copied to friends. Whatever it was, it's lost profit for you.
You can even harass them by just sending demands of money since "someone" in their family copied your "art" over the internet. Just say it's some really nasty kind of porn and the they'll probably pay right away (or at least before the wife gets home),
The possibilities are endless. Did that nerdy friend of yours just write a clever decryption algorithm? Just encrypt your art with the same encryption algorithm and claim his work is meant to circumvent your copy protection! Making available tools for the removal of copy protection is illegal in many countries.
Don't worry if there's no law you can use at the moment. Politicians are working hard to expand the rights of copyright holders. In fact…
Politicians are your friends.
They will make laws and create taxes to support you. Do you want a tax on cassette tapes, internet connections or hard drives? Just claim illegal copying has reduced your profits and taxing some technology would ''really'' help. It doesn't always work but the politicians will at least try to get a new tax. Just for you. Because they are your friends.
There are politicians who wants to limit your rights but you can stop them by simply calling them names. Just remember, to get left wing sympathies, call them liberal-capitalists who wants to destroy the livelihoods of all the working class artists and free thinkers of the world. Total freedom is essential for true creativity. You can't be creative if you have to work to make money.
To get right wing sympathies, just call them left-wing-communists who doesn't respect property rights. Who would ever be stupid enough to create if they could not make money from it? Property rights is the source of creativity.
Society is Responsible
It's the responsibility of society to make you rich. If you do not become rich, society is to blame for not being tough enough on copyright infringement. You do not have to work. Hell, you should not work! Society must make sure you can live off your art!
Control
Copyright grants complete control of your work. No one can make a copy without your approval. Since "making a copy" can be anything like making physical copies, making digital copies, reciting too much, describing it too well, making a machine read it out loud etc you can always sue! Sure, there's "fair use" but a legal process is usually so expensive and the outcome so unpredictable that it just isn't worth it. They will do your bidding.
Copyright is so powerful you can stop people from making documentaries or writing articles about your work. Try that with a patent!
Don't stop yourself the next time you want to tell your boss to shove stuff into certain cavities. Just send an email with your inner thoughts. When he forwards it to the legal department to have you fired, you just sue him for copyright infringement! After all, a forwarded email is a an illegal copy of your original copyrighted work!
The Poem
With all the Money and Power granted copyright holders, I want to be one too. That is why I created The Poem.
